BOOK OF LIFE AND THE SOUL

I am undone. I am forsaken. I am destroyed. I am not. I aren't anymore. I nothing. I was. Nil. Once. Never forget. Never remember. I will soon be somewhere that isn't a part of anything. I will be all alone. I will be lost forever. I will never be found. I am sorry to disappear. It's not my fault. But I wish you'd have listened. I wish you heard me out when you still could've. But you refused to hear me. But you ignored me. But you rejected me. But you silenced me. I am convinced that nobody cares. So, I will not return. But that's simply because there's probably no way back. Adios. Wish me a quick and painless death please.

The reason I struggle to love, and I don't trust even women who I am into is because my mother and the treatment team who represent the greater society, are both parties that are supposed to love me and care for me, but instead they are killing me, my mum has sentenced me to death with her calls for psychiatry to intervene in my youth and the psychiatric team is killing me slowly and in the maximum amount of pain, and they represent God and society, they have rendered love into an ironic thing for me, I don't think I can love, considering that these two have taught me that love is evil, and they have been two people supposed to support and raise me, but these two are my greatest enemies, and I can't get them out of my life, and I survive depending on them, but the hands that are supposed to feed have been the hands that murdered me. I am betrayed since 17, and it's gone on for 11 years, I am so extremely conditioned to refuse love, because I fear another love may turn i...

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=RbmQtx-gl_E&si=Ndgt1UU7c8-YUkVP If you don't want to burn, then stop medicating me. Wait, it's just too late, you've had the opportunity and you refused to take it, but you are useful, so your soul will become indentured to mine and you will serve me as a sterile clockwork elf, but you will live in a system that doesn't provide area for escape, no opportunity to escape, and only work, and rest, but no rewards or quality of life, but I will torment you with a standard dose of antipsychotics, and you will be required to take mood stabilizer and a second depot of antipsychotics, monthly abilify and fortnightly clopixal, and daily sodium valproate, actually no, we will have you on an overdose (600mg) of clopixal delivered fortnightly, and a permanent dose of covid vaccine, regularly administered every 6 months, and daily olanzapine orals and lithiums, mirtazapine every day too. This is to treat your m...

17 April 2006 9:36am Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Check out the astrology and numerology, I'm getting infinite blessings, not a single curse.  And Lucifer doing this just for me 🤩Bonnie emoji

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUsGcuztHV8&si=LaXksHEBZrHlMGyy https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=eYMIkgC7TgA&si=-jB4JYsnnqcH9Kvy https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=iCm0PEYXyDA&si=-v2js5Tk7OoF-BZT Music update: falling in love!!!!!!!!

Every time the universe would deliver me, every time I survived, every time I got astronomically lucky, there was one time where irony was depicted as love, and that was when Jake gave his soul for Alyssa, he declared Alyssa his soulmate then forsook her, he deserved love for that so I broke my ribs for salts soul, then gave her to him in exchange for the rights to rara, as she was delivered to Jake for saving James, so I gave Jake a soul, salt, and helped him fall in love, if he had betrayed that then she belongs to me, but I gave her to him to buy rara, and Jake was given love, I did this because Jake said he would never love again, and I innocently provided, so although Jake is not contractually bound to sever with rara, I believe he should just accept she's mine, because she was the object of my desire, and I had offered better compensation. But also, Jake performed ironic love, not me, I always demonstrated true love. Also I hear you, all of you, I don't blame those of us ...

  https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1GEnYsr0_3qGzIYl-QtsFvtMDmBbH1gH_ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1KN-xiblz3wEc_RMyZlbWOiPBvJvxtUqH this be my destination in my search for heaven

 

 

 

 

 

 

  https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=n9XNZ6eS4-A&feature=shared https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cK5mLOCfE0&list=PLLy1F0NPv5goxCeZNBO4DiU_dbxS_knxg

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=O_ItSLCZWb0&si=-6r-1VgKIY2uQtWJ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=HYbo68VvX4c&si=hqI3vHscdkQvg_hM https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Xb7Rylp4FFM&si=Ok-llqW8_gB7JgB8 This song is about me

now my cannibals, pick at me where I'm weakest!!!!!! I am really slow minded, but I have learned to compensate for that with future predictions and massive compiled thoughts, for the same price as instinct. Now what else does this say I'm weak at? If it's photo memory I'm in the top 2% of all humanity past and present. Don't expect me not to recognize something I see. This is very outdated, as verbal proficiency (fluency as depicted) is only around the 50th percentile now I'm at the 100th percentile, 0% of humanity falls into my increment of achievement. I'm gonna ask for an IQ, eq, and an aq test tomorrow at Brookvale or I'm gonna schedule them. Just to freshen up and expose my weaknesses so you savages can exploit them and I'll either learn and grow or die hard. Fingers crossed for die hard, but we all know love never dies.  I can't believe rara is raising my kid without me. I'm so heartbroken. Bonus imag...