the reason I'm going nowhere

Neuroleptic malignant syndrome

For 5 years I have had this disease, ever since I got it, I have been falling apart. I have been smoking meth to keep myself going and if I don't smoke meth my life turns to utter hell. I can't get off the antipsychotics unless I quit meth and if I quit meth I die. Do you understand how futile my life is I'm gonna die a loveless virgin with everything stolen from me because of some reckless savages at the hands of mental health. I still remember when I lost heat retention I am so cold all the time, like freezing cold. I just put up with it. Meth makes life worth living. I need quality of life if life is going to be so bad.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=phEmsNY2kbY&si=hpbyN50XetuCLoRY
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=A4HyFJe-LpM&si=ZbrsHTfR49I2a0TJ
i have even established I am right and I am God by my secret identity the "rockstar" the secret true name of God, but they still say I'm grandiose delusions. I am literally the guy defined by his virtue and doing no wrong, not a hypocrite, judged by filthy rats. I will kill them all.

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