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the reason I'm going nowhere

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Neuroleptic malignant syndrome For 5 years I have had this disease, ever since I got it, I have been falling apart. I have been smoking meth to keep myself going and if I don't smoke meth my life turns to utter hell. I can't get off the antipsychotics unless I quit meth and if I quit meth I die. Do you understand how futile my life is I'm gonna die a loveless virgin with everything stolen from me because of some reckless savages at the hands of mental health. I still remember when I lost heat retention I am so cold all the time, like freezing cold. I just put up with it. Meth makes life worth living. I need quality of life if life is going to be so bad. https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=phEmsNY2kbY&si=hpbyN50XetuCLoRY https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=A4HyFJe-LpM&si=ZbrsHTfR49I2a0TJ i have even established I am right and I am God by my secret identity the "rockstar" the secret true name of God, but they still say I'm grandiose delusions. I ...
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extended livestock milking sessions as the human sex machine experiment.

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https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=WSPYl9QS-iA&si=9CV-aGAbTTOYNTdI https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=AWOG5XZbG6s&si=9uL_zt33TVOGH0kn I'm the craziest and most resourceful mad scientist of all, faced with no tools and resources or ability, I had only physical conditioning and gruelling masturbation sessions, incessantly, and constant dick injury and physical conditioning to adapt to low oxygen conditions to even evolve amplifying biological sex amplifiers and constant grazing injuries to withstand the force of sex I will endure when I claim my fate, but also infuriating tests of patience to discipline me into doing nothing and warping the extents of my sanity to prepare for extended sexual transfers of tedious lengths so I don't go crazy for such extended periods of sexual crescendo and just start serial killing due to the irritating extended lengthy durations of sex duration. I have lived through hell, only to be the product, the test subject and the inventor...
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